Sam Ovens - Paradigm and World View - Consulting Accelerator

author:: Sam Ovens
tags:: Philosophy Entrepreneurship Coaching Motivation

It's all you. You're the dark force holding yourself back.

If you're not taking the actions you know you should take to become successful, you're not seeing the world in the right way yet.

The successful people just see the world in a different way. They think differently, so they act differently.

If you're not making a lot of money, you're simply not deserving of it yet.

So your paradigm of the world is wrong and is what needs to change.

You need to become a different person.

It's 80% mindset and 20% tactics.

Issues with society's current paradigm

Misunderstanding in the psychology of the self and creation of the identity
Bias towards the material and physical
False perceptions of entitlement and authority
Dualism and perception of one right and one wrong
Contradiction of the two sciences
Birth of the victim and their story
Mistaken view of cause and effect

Being out of my comfort zone is my comfy zone now.

Misunderstanding in the psychology of the self and creation of the identity

"PhD psychologists come here and I teach them about mindset."

People say "they're a natural" or "they're born with it"—but why believe this if you know you can be better?

The nature of evolution is to become the best version of who we could be.

Ignore the people saying to be authentic, not change who you are, fixing who you are.

Acting like a business man and feeling very inauthentic doing it—that's the only way to grow! It's not wrong to be something else than who you are if you're not in the situation you want to be in.

Western philosophy is too focused on "who am I?"

We tend to build our lives around confirming what we think our identity is.

The issue: humans naturally desire growth, but this contradicts all else.

All the successful people who went through this at some point had an identity crisis.

The 'self' is an illusion, it's just who you think you are.

We live lives paralyzed as 'our selves' dreaming and full of regret about 'who we could have been'.

Removal of the static self for the becoming self

Well who are you really? Uhmmm there's nothing there. No no no this is me. Etc. Where is it? It doesn't exist.

It's impossible to grow if you're afraid of losing yourself. The only way to achieve success is to become the person who deserves it. The only question that's important is who are we becoming?

You've always got to have a hero. There should always be something to chase. Make your hero you in a year. Always be who you're becoming.

The Becoming Self

Who am I becoming?
We're born into an environment and who we are becoming is a byproduct of our own thoughts, choice and actions.
Accept that you can be whoever you want to be and achieve whatever you want to achieve.
Become whoever you want to be and don't feel bad about losing yourself in the process.
The self doesn't exist, it's merely an illusion clinging to an identity built up of stories about the past.

Face Off With The Devil

Weird title, but this is probably the most profitable thing you can do.

Life is more about managing your downside than managing your upside.

If something's going on in your business, it's probably going on in your life too. So that's where to face it.

Everyone goes through struggles when they're trying to become successful.

You need to know yourself because in business you're pushing yourself.

Denial is the cause of all suffering, limitation and failure.

Facing the music: the cause of all success and happiness.

Life isn't just about when it's going well, but about when it's going bad.

"One side of me wanted to start my own business, and I quit my job and all, but I also didn't want to get out of bed."

High Point and Low Point

Seemed like some internal thermostat that kept me between almost the same high and low points, to the average. This pattern existed in every area of life, e.g., amount of money.

Cleanliness of my apartment: how clean I wanted to as dirty as I could stand it.
Mental state of mind: how focused / sharp / determined, to the worst state you can bear.
Etc, etc.

As an entrepeneur, your mental state really matters. You can't be a bit foggy, even like what you get to in a 9-5.

All these things have high and low points...and they're all in sync.

Pain can be an excellent teacher. If you learn to look it dead on in the eyes and face it rather than running away from it or sedating yourself, pain will teach you everything.

Boom and bust cycles = you're living in denial. It's when you don't take responsibility for your own actions and fool yourself by thinking you can act irresponsibly and not face the consequences. When you refuse to face the truth, the music, and wonder why you get burned and live an unhappy life.

Facing the music

You face the music when you face the truth front on and stop lying to yourself.

Stop:

Ignoring emails
Not going out because you might meet someone you know
Sweeping bad relationship under the rug

Why these symmetric patterns happen and how to get out of them

Every action has an opposite equal reaction.

Most people try to cheat cause and effect. They know their actions will be bad as they're taking them, yet they do it anyways.

The mirror.

Your fears and judgements are only an outward reflection of how you think and behave.

Judging others makes you too afraid, especially if you don't speak your judgement.

How much you're confident charging for your stuff is a reflection of how much you're investing yourself.

Millionaires and billionares make decisions fast. Get used to making quick decisions—so your customers will too.

Sam has nothing for free. People who are obsessed with "free" won't be your customers.

You must become the client you want to attract.

Pay your vendors on time, every time. Make them think you're their best client. Tip well, be generous, give testimonials, say thank you.

People don't have business problems, they have life problems that reflect in their business

How you do one thing is how you do everything

If someone's late with one thing, they're late with everything: deadline, sleep in, relationships, going to bed,...

Every time I cleaned up, like saying sorry to people, becoming a better person—my business exploded more.

Start making a list of all these little things you've done. Because you're probably experiencing a reaction somewhere.

The way someone rides a bike, reads a book, goes to the gym—all the same speed, intensity, tempo. So start understanding your own tempo.

You can turn it. You can change anything. I went from 30 minutes focus a day to being able to focus for 18 hours for months on end.

Commit to excellence in every facet of your existence.

Home and office in immaculate condition all the time. Drink tons of water.

Show up to work like it's serious.

Clean up your entire mind and entire environment because it'll make more of a difference than anything else.

We become our lowest standards, not our highest dreams

In reality life's more about managing the downside, because the downside is more dangerous. Because they're stuck longer and often it's more dangerous here.

It's not about how much you make, but how much you keep. So the average of your highest and lowest points.

All business does is 10x everything in your life. Every little problem will have a 10x effect in your business. All that exists is cause and effect. Chance is just misunderstood cause and effect.

The Duality & Conflict of Man

What is the duality and conflict of man? Why is it important?

This is how we think---how the mind is "programmed" to see the world.

The only way the human mind can understand something is by comparing it to its opposite.

If we remove "unhealthy" we can't know we're "healthy."

How your mind works and how you make decisions

We see, smell, taste etc., with our mind, this turns information into perception. All we experience is perception, which can come from the environment or memory & imagination.

Our brain doesn't know the difference between real life and our imagination. (Example: feelings come back after remembering a painful memory.)

Something that often happens:

One person tells someone "you can't do that" or something
That person replays it again and again until the belief becomes cemented

Experiment: hot coal burning someone from the rear, skin actually blistered even when it was swapped for an ice cube.

How you form beliefs

Tons of different "scales" with positive and negative experiences, per topic.

We can actually put rocks in these scales with our memories.

Your mind builds beliefs more from what happens in its imagination than from real experiences. And whatever way you stack the scales will become your belief.

Self-fulfilling: your belief will become your reality.

The division of opposites and the two poles of nature

For everything we know, there's a duality.

Who are you? The definitive answer and summation of mental programming

We think we are who we are from birth. But as we answer the question of who we are, we ask who we are not. Again we stack the scales.

Entire life, every experience, every thought of the past, every thought of the future---you stacked the scales for everything. So your identity is the summation of every scale you've ever stacked.

Your beliefs become your reality. Then we answer "who am I" so many times that it becomes very strong, and it becomes reality.

"I can't catch"---when people throw something we'll fumble. If we "can't handle the heat" we won't and we will stay in cool places.

We have defined "who am I" when the real question is "who am I becoming?"

We are not someone, we are always becoming someone.

Society's conflict of opposites and perceived right and wrong

Society has defined who they are as the group, collective from the people. Simultaneously, it has defined what it's not.

Society defines what is right and what's wrong by opposites.

He who is not with me, is against us. He who is not like us, is our enemy.

The tragic thing is society has defined what it is, and by that created its enemies. Instead of defining who they are becoming.

Mankind's big question

What is right and what is wrong?

Society thinks:

Making money on wall street is wrong
Meditating and doing wellness is right
Being on the beach, in the forest, relaxing, is right
Being in a polluted city, business, is wrong
The past is more right
The future is more wrong
Happy and smiley is right
Depressed and sad is wrong
Science is accurate and right
Religion is wrong
Beggars, giving to charity are right
Being greedy, making money is wrong
Nature, exploring, travel is right
Working is wrong
Awake during the day is right

You have to choose a side. We have the perception that there is one right and one wrong.

The issue is: who you are right now is fighting who you want to become. In society this happens, too.

The Answer

What we've done wrong:

In trying to form an identity, we dream of being who our identity is not
In destroying depression with antidepressants, we destroyed happiness through antidepressants
In trying to remove religion through science, we turned science into a religion
In trying to remove non-education through university, we introduced non-education through university
In trying to forget money to achieve spiritual happiness, we end up unhappy because we need money

People used to start a business to gain freedom, but now they have all these investors breathing down their neck and they have more of a job than they used to.

All of this is people trying to totally remove one side. But it's inextricably linked to the other.

The paradoxes have flipped

The only way to be wrong is to choose a side.

The universe is forever changing. The only way to lose is to resist change.

The equation of evolution: thesis --> antithesis --> synthesis.

We have come to believe this is the shitty truth of our existence. The gap between the current and desired self is the cause of all unhappiness. Desire is unhappiness. But it's not the shitty truth: we can change.

The Alchemy View

There's nothing wrong with either sides of "the right and wrong." It's both.

If you only eat healthy food, the body forgets it's eating healthy food. Completely removing germs you end up sick because your immune system hasn't built up tolerance. Your body needs to be shocked back to know it was actually pretty good.

People who drop out and get educated both are actually way better.

Learn to enjoy some pain.

You don't need work-life balance if work is play.

What if you could get rich by giving back?

The key to evolution is variation. The only way to become our desired self is to look at what's in the dark.

We must understand that a firm side will eventually require us to face the opposite. We must understand that dualism exists and we need to lose the binary stance.

It's time to look at the other side of the duality elements.

Who you are right now will not achieve your dreams.

Action items

MBTI test
Binary poles worksheet
Do something you wouldn't usually do

Start agreeing with people who have opposite ideas.

Most people are jammed a bit far left or a bit far right on most things.

A lot of people need to get a bit greedier.

Take the opposite of the MBTI and get a bit more of all opposites.

Binary poles worksheet

Who are three people you idolize, look up to or admire? List them.

Brendon Burchard
Chase Jarvis
Iman Gadzhi
Vishen Lakhiani

What traits, characteristics or things do you like about these three people? List them.

They're rich and built a life of freedom
They get to be creative, build business and teach others
They are very disciplined, have great work ethic
They're very open and giving

Who are three people you despise, dislike and think are wrong? List them.

What traits, characteristics or things do you not like about these three people? List them.

Extremely selfish
Not considering the people around them
Being overpowering and rude
Not considering the consequences of their actions

What things do you love doing and could happily do everyday? List five of them.

Making photos
Making videos
Learning: books, documentaries, etc
Solving problems in team
Writing, thinking?

What things do you hate doing and never want to do ever? List five of them.

Paint
Interrupt people
Clean up someone else's mess
Be angry at people

Circle the one which best describes you for all of the following:

Logic | Intuition

8. What is your dream? What do you really want to achieve in life and how do you want to live?
Solve difficult problems together with smart creative people, make a lot of money and be ultimately free while continuously growing.

9. Do you see how your current binary poles are in direct conflict with the dream you have for yourself? Do you see that the things you dislike other people for and judge them by are the exact things you need yourself to achieve your dreams?
Yeah. I need a little bit more selfishness and cold blooded striving to get what I want.

10. The way you exist at this moment makes it impossible to achieve your dreams. Who you are right now will never achieve your dreams. You must evolve to achieve your dreams and that means facing the dark side of you and removing all the binaries of your mental programming. Write below that you are committed to facing these things and achieving your dreams:
I'm committed to facing my dark side, the unspoken parts of me. I'm committed to changing so I can become someone else, the one who is highly capable of making my dreams come true.

Judging others makes it impossible to do anything bold yourself because of the fear that you will be judged. Take a look at the people you disliked and why. Now make a conscious decision to stop judging them and start loving them by taking the time to understand their point of view and agreeing with it. Let go of everything you’re holding onto.

Okay. Let's love selfish people because they really do have something going for them.

12. What are some things that you dislike and would never do? List 3-4 of them that you can do this week and 1 of them which you can do right now.

Three things I would never do but am going to do this week:

Calling people
Asking for favors
Disagreeing loudly and challenging people
Plainly stating what I want

13. What four letter result did you get for the Myers Briggs test? (www.consulting.com/mbti)
ENFJ

14. The opposite of each type is below. Identify your opposites and see how you are going to need them to achieve your dreams and goals. Try to introduce more of your opposites into your life and business and be aware that problems will exist due to these things being too binary and jammed on one side.

ISTP

I - Introverted, quiet and reserved | E - Extroverted, loud and outgoing
N - Intuitive, random and no rules | S - Structure, predictability and rules
F - Feeling and emotional | T - Thinking, logical and rational
P - Perceiving and indecisive | J - Judging and decisive

Seeing for the First Time

Everything in nature works as a Power Law. It's natural. Imagine complaining that 80% of the population lives in 20% of the countries. The same happens with income.

Feedback Loops

This happens because of feedback loops.
In feedback loops, cause and effect become self-fulfilling.

What you think about is what you think and what you think is what you think about. This sets off a vicious cycle.

One tiny thought can set off a spiral and form a belief that then creates ultimate reality.

These cycles can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

This is the "burden of consciousness."

Creating The Feedback Loops

"I'm going to master business"—and that kept looping positively.

Everything is interconnected, even if they are not related at all. It all ends up in his "Research & Development" directory. Find interconnectedness between every two subjects.

Quantum Physics

Particles are in fixed positions when they're being observed. When not, they're everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

It turns out particles are extremely interrelated.

Masses attract masses (gravity)
In looking, particles attract more

Quantum entanglement, like they communicate with each other over arbitrary distances.

Universal Theory of Everything

1984:

He who controls the present, controls the past. He who controls the past, controls the future.

Sam: add one sentence: this is all you.

Think of entangled particles as past and future. They influence each other. The present is in the middle, you control this.

Live in the present. If you live in the past, it will dictate your future, and the other way around.

It doesn't matter what's true, only what you believe is true because, with work, it will become true.