tags:: #source/book Dating Attraction
author:: Mark Manson
read:: true

Movement

Attraction is purely in the way you act and move, not in how you speak.

Non-neediness

That’s the base of what’s attractive: putting your own needs in the first place,
having your own life first. But at the same time, not being only involved in
yourself. It’s about knowing yourself, aiming for your own desires, and finding
happy mediums with your partners. That way you build great emotional
relationships.

If someone breaks up, you’d feel like it’s probably for the better as it
wouldn’t have worked out anyways.

Often needy guys flip over to narcissim which gets them some emotionally
unstable girls, but is deeply unsatisfying and causes loads of drama in their
life. Narcissism means you don’t care anymore about others.

How do you build this? Vulnerability.

Vulnerability

The key capacity is knowing and being at ease with your dark side, your
imperfections, where you’re rough around the edges. Everyone I’ve seen with
problems with women thinks they’re okay on this front but ends up not being
vulnerable enough.

Learn to feel yourself more. Learn to open up more.

This comes with experience talking about it with others. Some of it will only
give you the experience if you talk to actual women.

Vulnerability doesn’t “not work:” if you think that you’re performing which is
a way of not being vulnerable. Women emotionally connect with you through the
emotion behind your words.

Learn to experss the emotion behind most of your statements.

The more nervous it makes you feel, the better—because you’re being
vulnerable. How vulnerable you are depende on how truthful you can be with
yourself.

Learn to not perform continuously.

The Gift of Truth

“Hey can I pee in your butt?”—regardless of what you say, the implications and
how you say it are way more powerful. Subcommunication: I really don’t care if
you’re terrified or angry, but here’s who I am so take it or leave it.

The fact that someone honestly communicates his preferences, shows both
non-neediness (impreesive ease with whatever outcome) plus desire. It’s the
vulnerable and powerful way as opposed to pretending you’re not interested
while being interested.

The truth is always shining through.

Human nature is such that we don’t trust someone who compliments us on something
we feel like we haven’t earned. Wait until you know her enough to give heartfelt
compliments.